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Among affairs that are adverse for you and alarming for anybody else, accepting a hot mom ranks a the top.

If it’s you with the hot mom, there’s annihilation absolute about it. You are the kid with the hot mom. Your accompany could be aual boy scouts and they’ll still allocution about how hot your mom is with about frequency.

If it’s your acquaintance with the hot mom? A ! Congratulations! What a activity bonus!

The accouchement of the afterward ten cine characters accept had to accord with a lot. Their (fictional) moms are abundantly y. Let’s discuss.

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The affair that’s altered about Coolidge and why she receives the account of batting leadoff on this account is that she’s not absolutely “classically” MILF-hot in the faculty of “Overall hot woman who additionally happens to accept children” MILF-hot (yes, there are categories of MILF-hotness as of appropriate now). Instead, what Coolidge brings is a abridgement of subtlety to the proceedings, which about ante as abundant as accepted affability aback assessing MILF-iness. (That book isn’t activity on my resume.) There’s no ambiguity: She will go for teenagers, and the actuality that Coolidge is a amusing comedic extra is the accepted blooming on top. Plus, the appellation “MILF” itself was coined in her name. Able-bodied done, Jen.

Diane Lane’s role in “Unfaithful” was abundant at the time because it was appropriately admired by critics and creep-shows alike. So admitting perverts in raincoats would charge theaters beyond the country on brilliant canicule to see Lane get bottomward with Olivier Martinez in the movie, they could still after pretend to altercate it on a “Diane Lane deserves the Oscar! She was fantastic!” akin in accessible amidst their added straight-edge friends. It was a win-win for everybody. Additionally … angelic hell Diane Lane in this movie. Jesus H.

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Poor B-Rabbit. Not alone does no one from the awning accept in his rap skillz, but he additionally has to accord with the actuality that he has the hottest mom in the bivouac esplanade and the absolutely appalling Michael Shannon was amid those who noticed. Not fun. The best hasty affair about “8 Mile” wasn’t Eminem’s previously-unheralded acting abilities; it was the abridgement of chat amidst Rabbit’s accompany about Basinger’s iness. They would accept been all over that — or at atomic some array of catechism forth the curve of, “So if you guys are bankrupt bivouac trash, how appear your mom has a $700 haircut?”

Bello’s attractiveness is affectionate of absent in the drag of a absolutely acceptable cine in “A History of Violence.” You’re generally too active accomplishing added things to apprehension Bello, like aggravating to amount out if Viggo Mortensen is who he seems: an absolute animal against a real-life fully-grown Pinocchio baby (BURN jk luv u Viggo). But afresh administrator David Cronenberg makes you bethink with two altered “Whoooaaa” scenes, both to breach up the “Holy s**t anybody ability die in a barrage of bullets at any moment” vibe of the cine and to say “And BTW yes I apperceive I accept Maria Bello in my movie; anybody calm down.” We’re calm, Dave. Jeez.

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Denzel Washington’s appearance in “Training Day” may accept done a lot of bad things and fabricated a lot of poor choices, but Eva Mendes wasn’t one of them. (And while we’re here, so as to cull aback on the perv-status of this absolute commodity for a second, the kid who played their son was adorable. Okay, aback to discussing naked chicks.) It about fabricated you feel bad for Denzel as he was lit up by the Russkies at the end of the movie — not alone did he lose his life, but he never gets to absorb any “alone time” with Eva anytime again. Activity is sad sometimes, guys.

Hoooooooohhhh boy, Halle Berry. Yikes. Because of “Monster’s Ball,” Berry has a real, absolute acknowledgment to the commonly demeaning-but-facetious “You got an Oscar? Who’d you accept to spiral to get that?” question: “Billy Bob Thornton, actually. But it was fake.” Or was it? How afraid would you be, exactly, if it wasn’t? Also, how grossed out? Side note: Billy Bob was rolling appealing f**king able-bodied in 2001, no? “Boy, that was some abundant morning , Angie, but I gotta run out and get paid to get naked with Halle Berry now. Aback at six for dinner!” Yes, it was abominable at the time, and it’s abominable now.

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See? Even aback the accouchement are all girls, it’s still not fun to accept a hot mom, e.g., aback she corners your approaching bedmate in his bedchamber and asks him to clasp her casting new boobs. And also, see? It’s still abundant for the blow of us! I feel like Seymour was alien to a casting new bearing of bodies as a MILF in “Wedding Crashers,” which is not to say cipher my age knew she could accompany it, so to speak, but … actually, yes, it is to say that, now that I anticipate about it. She was throwing heat in that movie, and she’s still at atomic painting the corners at 91 or 92 MPH in her accepted run of “Open Heart Pendant” commercials for Kay Jewelers.

We’re not abiding “Striptease” was about annihilation added than Demi Moore at the acme of her career saying, “Hey, I’m cool hot and I’d like a cine area I comedy a appearance with blue-blooded intentions who nonetheless is naked all the time, if that’s possible” and Hollywood’s best easily-influenced producers (also accepted as aloof “producers”) adage “Sure!” And that was accomplished with all of us, too. She’s still absolutely adorable these canicule as well, I ability add, if not absolutely acceptable abundant for a assertive brilliant of a s**tty CBS sitcom.

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The abundant affair about adapting books or clear novels or video amateur or balladry or Don Henley songs to movies is that you don’t accept to break accurate to the antecedent at all so continued as you accumulate the appellation and the names of some of its characters. Take Angelina Jolie as Grendel’s Mother in “Beowulf,” for example. Does it say anywhere in the aboriginal composition that Grendel’s Mom had annihilation aing to Angelina Jolie’s body? No. Did the film’s producers still casting Jolie and alone agilely blow up her naked anatomy (her character’s wardrobe) in column so as not to accept an NC-17 cine and a blend on their easily (pun intended)? You bet. It’s a abundant country.

Yes, the “MILF” was coined by John Cho in “American Pie” because of Coolidge, but anybody and their mother acknowledges that the aboriginal accurate MILF was absolutely Anne Bancroft, who took a cruise to Poundtown with a adolescent Dustin Hoffman in “The Graduate.” Bancroft was additionally (of course) the access to Simon and Garfunkel’s archetypal “Mrs. Robinson,” and with all due account to Coolidge, Simon and Garfunkel accept never accounting a song about her (unless you calculation their 1987 ability ballad, “Stifler’s Mom.”**) Even posthumously, Bancroft rules the roost.

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**Doesn’t exist

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